Posted by: Jody Glynn Patrick | 11/21/2015

Living with different filters.


When (if) you are ready, click the link above marked “Photograph”. Wait for the annoying short ad to finish and then the link will take you into a YouTube performance of a song by that title recorded by Ed Sheeran.

After our children die, we live life wearing a new filter. This song has no attached significance, but when you see/hear it, I’ll bet you will see/hear it differently than a parent who has not lost a child to death. Things that other people may view as neutral may be charged with emotion for us, and so we are often blindsided by experiences that we can’t explain fully to even our closest friend.

I just stumbled across this video, looking for another song he recorded, and paused to watch it before moving on. Wow. And there was Daniel again, as he grew from a small child to the 16-year old that he will always be — though the song had nothing to do with my son, nor was it his image.

What do you see when you watch the video? What message do you hear in the lyrics?


  1. Every time I hear this song, I think of my two children (in their 20s) who have died in the last year. In particular, two lines… the line “you can keep me in the pocket of your ripped jeans” reminds me of the little turtle token I put in my son’s front pocket when I viewed him before his funeral….the image of being with him brings me comfort. Secondly, “wait for me to come home” makes me remember that I will be with them both some day, and again brings comfort.

    I feel most every event, song, news story with a different “filter” than anyone I know. While it can take me aback or make me sad, I also get this feeling of being connected to those two of my children more closely when I have these reactions. So, though startling, I cherish my filter, as I cherish them.

  2. I started crying at the first line of this. Never really listened to it in a way to remember my son. Before his death I just imagined a couple breaking up but now I imagine the words coming from my son. He was only 2 1/2 when he passed away.

  3. We specifically used this song to help us with our grief. I lost my 14 year old son suddenly in March this year following a DKA which seemed to be triggered by a virus. My son & his 11 year old brother spent many hours singing & playing guitar together and my 11 year old decided that to dig this st his funeral and then at a thanksgiving service would be a wonderful way to show that he’ll never be forgotten but will always stay with us. I’m still very much stuck in the “why didn’t I see or know this was coming & why couldn’t I have saved him” but I know deep down the answers to these questions but as a mother you question how you didn’t do your duty. I do sing & laugh & try & act normal but none of this is done from my heart, that’s still in pieces. I’m sure one day I will but I’m not quite sure when but one day. One day the sky will be blue & I’ll start to notice the flowers again.

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