Posted by: Jody Glynn Patrick | 09/01/2015

Kaydin X. Dillard – A Memorial

Kaydin X. DillardKaydin X. Dillard

Born 10/16/2008

Went to heaven on 09/16/2014

Kaydin was a wonderful and caring young man.  He was always thinking of others before himself.  He shared all his toys and if someone didn’t have a toy he would give his to that child.  He loved to help me cook, especially if we were baking sweets.  I could go on and on for hours about all of Kaydin’s traits, I never get tired of talking about him.  God has received a true angel.

In this picture we were at the beach for vacation and I found some sour cream and onion flavored crickets – Kaydin would try anything, very adventurous.

 (Posted by his grandmother, Rene Dillard).


Responses

  1. Rene
    He was such a handsome boy! Thank you for introducing him to us.
    As I watch my parents grieve my son I have realized that Grandparents are often forgotten. My God heal your heart.

    • Thank you, he was a very handsome young boy. And just as beautiful inside as outside. Please don’t forget your parents during your grief, we suffer so much – because we are grieving for our grandchild but we are also grieving for our own child that has to suffer through this pain. Not all grandparents are blessed with living close to their grandchildren, I was. I was there watching him struggle to come into the world, he lived with me for the first 3 months of his life and then him and his mom moved in and out many times in his short almost 6 years. My home was the only home he new wasn’t going anywhere, he knew when he came over his things would be right where he left them when he came back. Every week when his mom dropped him off at my office on Friday he would come running up to me and jump in my arms hugging me and telling me how much he missed me – each week it was like he had not seen me in a life time.

      Every time I write about him I do it with tears streaming down my face. It is still so hard to believe he is gone.

  2. Kaydin is beautiful inside and out . Truly sorry for your grieve. My son was 24 and died in a car accident on June 5, 2015. He was also handsome and had such a big heart. It is such a hard thing to go through when the order of things seems wrong. I know in my heart God has a plan even though those of us left behind hurt so bad sometime.
    God Bless,
    Angela

  3. Beautiful boy xxx

    • Thank you

  4. What a beautiful child, Rene. He looks so happy to be with you in the photo.

    • Thank you – we always had so much fun together. Our first trip was a drive from NC to FL on Thanksgiving when he was just 4 weeks old – it was just the two of us, his mother did not want to come and he was a great traveler even at that age.

  5. Beautiful boy! He & my son Andrew were very much alike! I am so sorry for your loss!

  6. I can see why you’d miss him so much. He looks so happy and proud of his cricket. It makes me very sad for you and for him.

  7. Kaydin would be turning 7 years old this coming Friday. The tears started yesterday at church during our Homecoming dinner. I looked up from my table and saw all the children outside playing and all of sudden I was hearing Kaydin’s voice in my head talking non-stop about the food, the people and wanting to get outside to play – how long are we staying Nana, can I play for just a little bit longer Nana, can I have another piece of cake….I want to play football with the big kids, can I Nana……The tears just started rolling down my face, I didn’t even realize until the lady sitting next to me told me “don’t cry”. I could not get them under control so I left and went home and had a BIG cry. And this morning for no reason the tears are falling with no stopping in the for seeable future. I hate not being able to control my emotions, you would think we would get used to it. It just seems that those tears come at the most inconvenient times – like trying to conduct a meeting with the management team – yes, I started crying as I was going over my agenda and charts…lol…no stopping them. I should be planning a birthday party for this coming weekend – but instead I am crying.

    • I am so sorry for your loss – I also cannot seem to get through a day without totally breaking down and questioning why I am still here – it still makes no sense that I should be here and my beautiful baby is not – never can accept that – my thoughts are with you

      • Thank you Janice – my prayers are with you. These next months with all the holidays are the hardest. Family and Friends want to include you and have you celebrate with them, but it is so hard to celebrate the holidays when your child is not there with you. I have agreed to have the family over for Thanksgiving, but will not celebrate Christmas – and that was always my favorite holiday. And Halloween, well I am now the crazy lady that turns off all the lights, pulls my car into the garage and just wait for it to pass.

        take care of yourself and do only what you are comfortable doing, don’t let anybody pressure you into any celebrations you are not ready for.

      • your words are so true – I keep thinking that it “should” be getting easier but it is not – my life just seems to senseless now….thanks for your understanding what this new life is like…..

  8. Rene, you have suffered a catastrophic loss. Let the tears come as they may, it is impossible to stop them in early grief. And what a beautiful boy Kaydin is. He truly sounds so very special and dear. I do not know your circumstances but it seems you were very much like a parent to him as well as his treasured grandmother. I’m sure Kaydin is comforting you still from Heaven. Sending you peace and strength from Maryland.

  9. I finally let go of any control that I thought I had over anything and placed it all in God’s hands. I had read a quote on Face Book saying something like “I am tired now God, I am giving it to you….good night” and it just resonated with me. Since I have let go and placed it all in God’s hands things have improved immensely.

    Since my Kaydin died over a year ago I have not been comfortable anywhere, my home, my job, my friends. I knew I needed to make some major changes if I was ever going to be able to move forward. So I started sending out resumes, mainly to Florida – I grew up there and it just seemed like the place to return to – I know I will not be able to recapture my childhood (I am 56 after all 🙂 ) but I have a lot of old and dear friends down there.

    I finally received an offer for a job and have accepted it. Put a notice on face book that I would be listing my house by the weekend so let friend and family know (I live in a very popular subdivision in NC) – man contacted me on FB, came and looked and made a very fair offer. I will be moving to FL. first of the year for a fresh start. And I mean fresh, everything is going, furniture, home – everything. I will only carry with me the good memories of Kaydin, but leaving behind the hunting memories.

    I know moving and starting over is not an option for a lot of people going through the death of their child. And I have to say I admire your strength. But anybody who does have the option, it is cleansing. You have to put any fears of the unknown behind you – life is one unknown after another anyway.

    My daughter, Kaydin’s mom is going to stay in NC for now. She has found a wonderful new boyfriend who treats her like a queen – I love watching the two of them together, it is so sweet. He understands what she has gone through and is very patient. I will miss her – but it is time for me to live for me and do what I need to get on with living.


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