Posted by: Jody Glynn Patrick | 11/22/2013

About our dead children and psychic mediums….

The perfect intersection for plunder.

This is the truest statement of all: I don’t know if psychics are real or not real. I don’t know if there is (or is not) someone who can directly “channel” an open communication line. I get a lot of requests to “partner” with a medium, as some self-professed psychics see this blog as a direct line to potential business (versus healing). I won’t do that.

Likewise, a lot of people “witness” about a miracle healing due to one psychic or another (by name and location) in comments to me via this blog. I can tell these are spam messages trying to drum up business and immediately delete them. Testimonials for psychics unknown to me will never make it to the site. I won’t be a channel for fake hope or New Age charlatans who see opportunity in your pain and loss.

An established psychic (you find them, they don’t find you after reading obituaries, etc.) is a better crutch, in my opinion, to help you hope and function again, than, say, the lower rung of street drugs or alcohol. But psychics should come with the warning that they, too, can be addictive, and in fact, they are like street drugs sold to you by a stranger.You don’t know what you are getting until after you lay down your money, and that leaves a wide and very fertile field for con artists.

At the time when you are least able to filter information or establish boundaries, “sympathetic” bad people will find you. So be careful. Be cautious if you decide to spend even one dollar on a self-professed medium.

That being said, I do enjoy talking with established mediums…

As highlighted elsewhere at this blog site, my personal experiences with Daniel after he died has convinced me that the energy of our children (and our love for them) continues after death. Because of that knowledge, I do also believe there are communication opportunities, and in fact, I’ve personally benefited from them.

I have met famous medium and author James Van Praagh for a lunch interview, and I’ve had readings from Suzane Northrup (John Edward’s own psychic), whom I have also had dinner with. She drinks red wine after readings to calm herself. She swears a lot and is afraid to fly (so she drives everywhere in her jeep). I like down-to-earth people like her.

I’ve also seen John Edward in person, and I traveled to Long Island to see George Anderson. I had the interesting opportunity of dinner with Kevin Masters, when he visited from England. These are the top billing, most vetted psychics, and personally, I do find them credible. Are they “real”? I don’t know, but….

Masters told me that he envisioned me “in the near future” wearing headsets and talking into a microphone  to thousands of people at once. “Radio?” he suggested. “No way,” I answered, laughing at the thought of it. “I have no training or job prospects in broadcast media.” Two years later, however, I was offered a prime-time AM talk radio program. I thought of Master’s prediction many times after donning headsets and speaking into a microphone to thousands of people every weeknight for the next five years.

So yeah, I find Kevin Masters credible and even a little freaky in a good way. He looks like one of the guys in the movie Full Monty — he’s a stocky, hard-working English laborer with a strong accent — and I love that about him. I admire that he isn’t all about celebrity and fancy suits and money. In addition, he referenced my grandmother’s spirit (his informant about my future), saying she smelled like Evening in Paris perfume (all she ever wore). That bought him immediate bonus points from me, too.

Today, after my recently announced semi-retirement, I’ve left the radio and publishing worlds — left a satisfying and well-paying job behind — to focus more on the things that matter more to me. I became an ordained minister this past year and I am again accepting a few private clients for bereavement counseling. I’ve also established a second home in Illinois in the past month, very near my son’s grave and in the same town where my mother and brothers are buried. The move brings me psychic comfort, since I had strayed pretty far afield when working full-time in Madison, WI. Now I can fully enjoy both places.

But enough about me and more about what you want to know, which is what to think about psychics: Should you or shouldn’t you? Are you being naive or curious or ridiculous, considering whether or not to see one?

When you have a broken leg, you learn that a crutch is useful. While the leg heals, you cannot walk more than a few hobbled steps without crutches. Society accepts the help as necessary. However, when you have a broken heart, society expects you to breath and walk and think normally unassisted.

That isn’t always possible, and while the people around you marginally approve counseling for the “weak willed”, half of the professional counselors in the U.S. graduated in the bottom half of their class — for good reason. Not all are insightful enough to be truly helpful. But when you don’t feel “better” after dropping a thousand bucks on a counselor, or taking the latest anti-depressant drug, too many people assume it’s your fault, that you just can’t “move on”.

I have visited with the top-known psychics, but only once a year, and more often to interview them about their talent than to find a lifeline. My foray into the psychic realm isn’t about not being able to accept the truth — I know my child is forever gone physically from me. I get it. But I also understand that he is with me on a different plane, and I’d be joining the “Earth is Flat” society if I didn’t openly acknowledge that no, the earth is not flat. Nor does it exist in an only three dimensional world. The real world isn’t limited to what you can see, or else you’d be able to dodge those flu viruses and grab a radio wave out of the air!

Daniel’s energy exists as a cohesive, intelligent form and on occasion, I brush up against it close enough to recognize and celebrate his ongoing existence in my heart and mind. That’s my reality.

The holidays are hard for you, I understand. They are hard for me, too. But underneath one holiday is a birth, and a celebration of that birth long after the physical death and entombment of a body. That holiday most offers the hope of everlasting life and reunification. I hope you can hear that and know that and hold it close to you.

I wish for you that peace and hope this holiday season, whether it comes to you through spirituality or psychic mediums, through insight or experience. I wish for you a faith in the unknown and the curiosity and the strength to explore it.


Responses

  1. Thank you for your wise perspective on physic/mediums. While we are all desperately seeking a communication with our deceased children, I agree we have to proceed with caution. Personally, I have not spoken to one yet but am doing my homework and would like to some day. Not as fun or entertainment as those words are not in my current grieving vocabulary. This topic came up at a compassionate friends meeting I attended recently and while I have always been skeptical, I do believe that there are mediums who have a gift. Not so interested in a physic because I live day to day with a heavy heart, but I remain interested in seeing a medium some day if there is even a glimmer of hope that I would have that communication from my daughter. I will proceed with caution and be selective. But I will not rule it out. Despite the stark reality that their physical presence is gone, I continue to believe that our loved ones never leave us and our love never dies.

    • Dee, please keep us informed about your progress in finding a medium. I am very interested in contacting one in the future, but it is much too soon since my son died last month. I still cry all day some of the days and other days only one or two times and wonder if I will continue doing that as time goes by. I know I will never get over it, but hopefully it will get easier. I think a medium will help me a lot and let me know he is ok and maybe how or why he died. This site is great.

      • Haney, I am thinking about you as I read this. Sometimes the crying will overtake you or occur when you least expect it, and I have learned just to let it come. I don’t let anyone tell me when to cry or not to cry. My husband has been so marvellous, he just holds me until the crying subsides, or holds my hand if we are in the car and I start to cry. I find car travel very difficult right now, whether a driver or passenger, because it is just too much time to think and then I start to cry, especially when looking up at the sky and thinking all that my precious child is missing. So I don’t go out a lot right now, and I find that I can manage a car journey of no more than about 1 1/2 or 2 hours. My husband has also been great about doing most of any driving we have to do. My heart goes out to you, Haney.

  2. A very well-timed and thoughtful article, Jody, thank you. A friend of mine who resurfaced in a my life as a result of Lindsay’s murder told me that she sees “one of the best” mediums in Canada twice a year, and in kindness, she offered to substitute her upcoming appointment, for which she’d had to wait six months, for me to go in her place. I graciously declined. I know that I am very vulnerable right now in my grief to anything that might cause me to feel more connected to my beloved daughter, and I knew that all a medium or psychic would need would be my name or my daughter’s name, and that person would be able to find out on the Internet enough to convince me that he/she was truly communicating with my daughter. That having been said, I think a really skilled psychic or medium can offer a form of consolation in our grief out of their sheer interpersonal communications abilities and talent. The lure of the notion that perhaps, just perhaps……I could commune with my daughter is very seductive, and so, at the most vulnerable time I could ever be at in my life, my choice is to stay away. I truly hope that one day I will be able to feel Lindsay’s presence in the way you feel Daniel’s – my grief at the moment is too deep to even sense that. But your reminder about the real reason behind the upcoming holiday brought me some insight and comfort this evening. Thank you for your article.

  3. Thank you so much for continuing this blog. I think there are a lot of people who read it but don’t write. The pain is to great to put into words , I just lost my daughter, actually its been 2 years, this is the second child I lost. I lost my son 16 years ago, he was 11, my daughter was 28.

  4. Hello Jody, A mutual friend sent me the link to view this post so I hope you don’t mind that I reply.
    Meeting so many people its difficult to retain / remember every message given,& every person one meets, having said that I have a recollection of meeting with you & have many many fond memories of all the wonderful people I have encountered on my visits over the yrs to the USA.
    As this article deals a little with psychics and mediums I would like if I may, to perhaps share my personal perspectives/ opinions on the said subject, especially when it comes to dealing with grief and loss.
    Should I visit a psychic/ medium?… is often a much asked question, and I am thinking primarily at a time of such sadness when the pain of loss is so raw, My answer is often… NO…. a little strange you might find coming from a medium.. but sincerely at such times, our emotions are all over the place not to mention our sense of vulnerability ….. people should be encouraged to recognize that grieving is a very natural process/ experience…a time when we need to come to terms with the pain and hurt which I am sure we all recognize, A time to deal with all the emotions that grief throws at us.. sadly a time for so many that is ever lasting, but with personal hind site the hurt does lessen somewhat with the passage of time. A time to heal, A time to shed tears and a understanding that this time is unlimited

    my personal role as a spiritual medium is to try and implore people to find this so sort after connection within themselves. To find that sense of comfort, from knowing {from the heart} that we are all spiritual beings encased within a physical body and that life is eternal & goes on way beyond the death of the physical body……….something even scientists are now coming to terms with.
    IF and when the time comes one feels the need to have contact with a loved one via a medium, then please please be very very selective in your choice of medium, as sadly there are so many out there who WILL pray on the vulnerability {even in some cases unintentionally}

    may i conclude with saying how much I admire your work in helping to reach out to people in this manner, allowing people to explore there feelings/emotions, promoting the necessity of nurturing oneself, in such traumatic times such as grief, & to have a safe environment to explore this is highly commendable.
    You are a EARTH ANGEL:-)….. Blessings Kevin Masters
    p.s with reference to the full monty I presume you meant the most handsome one,when referring to myself….. lol

  5. Keeping; you in my thoughts, Marsha.

  6. Thinking about you all and hope your suffering will ease soon. It has been a horrible day without my son but I survived. Have any of you experienced any messages or voices from your decd loved ones? I try so hard but can’t get anything from him and would love to know he is ok. I had a vivid dream last night and was reading a poem and after I read the first of it I adjusted it so I could read the rest and it disappeared…I wonder if it was a message and I missed it? Hang in there.

  7. Hello, Haney, thank you for your thoughts for us all, and for sharing with us how your day went. I agree with you that surviving the holiday was perhaps the most that could be asked of us all. I could have foregone Christmas like many others do in the first year, or even longer, but I know that Lindsay loved it and would never have wanted us to miss it. A couple of things happened that gave me pause. A few months ago, the child of one of my daughter’s friends, just 2 1/2 years old, told me that my daughter was “an angel in heaven with yellow butterfly wings”. She was very specific in her description, and was insistent about the butterfly wings. So a yellow butterfly became a symbol of my daughter and a comfort to me and her friends. On Christmas night, I told my son the story of the child’s image of an angel with yellow butterfly wings (we were going to open presents the next day). He didn’t say anything in response, but the next day, asked me to very carefully open ;the last present under the tree. It was a beautiful guardian angel resembling my daughter, wearing a medieval robe with roses, hearts and curlicues and edged with delicate silver filigree. But then my son pointed out to me the wings of the guardian angel – which were not those we normally associate with angels, but were, in fact, intricately designed wings of a butterfly. My son told me then that when I had told him the story of the butterfly the night before, it had taken his breath away and stunned him – because he knew that his gift was an angel with butterfly wings. I will treasure it always.

    The other occurred during one particularly difficult, raw and painful episode the same day, when my son was crying for his sister. I was stroking his hair to comfort him, when suddenly, and without any conscious thought, I felt my daughter stroke his hair through my hand twice. Can’t explain it. Didn’t consciously imagine beforehand that she would be doing it if she were here. It just happened. Felt it very clearly and distinctly, very definitely just twice, and very definitely, not me. I swear it was like the movie “Ghost” when Patrick Swayze was moving through Whoopi Goldberg to communicate with his widow. And I am quite a skeptic about these things.

    My counsellor told me that my inability to see her, hear her or feel Lindsay’s presence is due to shock. She says that I am simply not ready yet or open to such signs. I wanted to share that with you, as this may be the reason why you are unable to feel your son’s presence with you yet. Some dreams I have are clearly dreams, others are so real and stay with me so vividly and certainly that it is almost impossible to think of them merely as functions of the brain. Haney, I am keeping you and everyone else here in my thoughts every day.

    • Thank you so much for your response..it really helps to hear those things that happened. I hope I get a sign of some sort and I know that will help me a lot. Those experiences you had gives me hope! Wishing for the best for all of us.

  8. Thinking of you, Haney. Just be kind to yourself. I am thinking of you daily.


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