Welcome to the Watering Hole, though I’m sorry to meet you here if it’s for the obvious reason. This site is dedicated to my son, Daniel-Paul, and to Matthew Webster, my cousin’s son. Both young men left behind beautiful memories, grieving family and friends, and bereaved parents.
I’m Jody Glynn Patrick. Daniel-Paul, forever 16, died in a car accident in 1991. Today, I publish a Madison, WI business magazine, host a radio talk show, and I’m also a book author and president of a genealogical research company. And yet always, always I will remain a bereaved mother.
Let’s tell the stories that keep our children close at heart. Feel free to post your child’s story here or in Daniel-Paul’s section. I hope you find something helpful here and I hope you leave thoughts and insights behind.
In loving memory….
Matthew James
Daniel-Paul, age 15
Hi Jody
I lost my little girl on November 27th. She was nine years old and my only child. She died very suddenly of a cardiomyopathy, while skating. No warning. I was there and I know that she lost consciousness immediately and never felt a thing. She died in my arms. She was an incredibly bright spirit and a child who lived every day of her life to the absolute fullest. I just wish she’d had more days.
It’s been a month. Only a month. A month already. A month that feels like a blink and a lifetime. Sometimes, I wonder how I can go on — work, continue being a foster mother, take care of my home, be a loving wife — with this much pain.
I’ll be reading your posts and hoping to find some words that give me more strength and solace. Thank you for being here.
Beth
By: beanie on 12/28/2009
at 9:17 PM
Beth,
I am here.
I’m so, so sorry for your loss.
There will be nothing I can say to mitigate the pain, but I will try to bring you whatever solace I can. It is enough to say tonight, perhaps, that the community of bereaved parents cares about your loss and to the extent each of us can tolerate such grief, we share yours, too. One set of footprints might be visible, but the one set of footprints is made of a collective universe of souls wanting to help hold you up now.
I understand the time reference – only/already. Time is a friend, because it gives us distance from the event of death. Time is an enemy, because it distances us from our loved one, too, on this plane.
I will hold you in my prayers, and that is not a cliche but a fact.
Jody.
By: jodyglynnpatrick on 12/28/2009
at 10:44 PM
Hi, I just found this site and am so grateful to know it is here. I lost my son Anthony in 2003 to a massive heart attack. I still weep…..I still can’t believe he is gone. I’ve met a few women who also lost a child so we try to support each other. We formed a group 5 years ago. It helps to know you are not alone. GOd is my strength….I don’t know how I could have gone through this without my faith. Our group began with 2, the 3, soon were 5 now we are 9. This is one group no one wants to belong to but are grateful it is there for them. I wish you blessings in all you do.
By: Leeann on 09/10/2010
at 3:52 PM
My wonderful 21 year old son, Garreth, died driving home from his Engineering work experience job. That was 4 3/4 years ago. I could tell you to the hour. I’m a single Mom, with one older son, now married. In fact he was married when Garreth died.
I am taking training in the fall to assist other parents who have lost a grown child on the workplace.
I’m writing a book, painful as it is, and have set no final day when it must be complete. It will be finished in its time.
I am facing the future full on, riding the waves of grief, knowing that it’s only the deep love we share that gives me strength and gives me pain.
Tonight though, I am stuck in guilt….Where was I? What was I thinking? How could I have stopped it? I did not know we were so fragile, that our breath could be taken away so soon.
I am surrounded by friends but just wanted to connect with someone from who had experienced this. Hope you respond.
By: Connie Sinkler on 06/30/2011
at 12:38 AM
Connie, I’m here. Just read your message — sorry for delay, just got the notifcation.
I understand your feelings of guilt. This is a common, reoccuring thread that binds most grieving parents together, though we seldom speak of it. My son died in a car accident, too, as you know. I still wonder, on my darker days, why I didn’t insist he fly out to Denver to join his sisters and brother instead of waiting for the date to get his braces off (he was to join us after that). WHY? What was so damned important about getting them removed on a date that accommodated a dentist instead of our family? Why, why, why — the why’s crowd my sleep. I redo things in my sleep, my dreams of him. I do then what I can’t do now — spend more time with him. Another second. Another minute. Another lifetime.
These moments pass and we go on, not whole, but no longer broken apart. Pieced back together with our scars hidden but deep. The community of bereaved parents is with you tonight, tomorrow and always — as is yoru beautiful Garreth, in his own way. This I have to believe.
Thanks for writing and best wishes in your new career path. I know you will be a blessing to others because you are open with your feelings, and that is what the world needs. REAL counselors.
Jody
By: jodyglynnpatrick on 07/02/2011
at 10:35 AM